That Sunday the pastor gives a similar message on music.

"The music of my youth seemed to close out any feeling of God, to me.  The tunes were in my head, and I could easily hum and feel like I was emptying myself of the day's stress.   I could relax and not feel burdened. Many people would consider that a gift, to be able to do that. But did it bring me closer to God?  No, it only brought me closer to my past understanding of happiness. Why did that happen, you may ask?  It was because I was feeling discontentment. When I'm not satisfied with the way God is running my life, there is always much to fill me up, just waiting to satisfy. Perhaps it's only because I don't understand, but whatever the reason, the door is still open because I didn't take the initiative to shut it."

 "We are told to flee temptation, but we leave the door open.    Instead of running from it, we often hurry  to it …the old way of doing things.   But in those days of old, did we bring our problems to God?    As I see it, we are either going to God or turning away from Him.   Or perhaps we are just standing still.   And I know the anxiousness …especially of our youth.   None of us stand still very long.   We all eventually have to move …and we either move towards God or we move away from God.   And if we move away from God, it doesn't matter whether we walk or run …it's not the speed of the retreat that gets us in trouble, it's the direction.    When I was young, I remember the church  was planning a youth retreat.   I recall that I didn't go because I was so afraid.   I thought they were going to retreat from their parents and God."                                                                                                                                

   He hesitates for a brief moment as the congregation laughs, "Yes, we need direction in our lives.   And at the end of the day, we need to feel renewed with purpose.   Because if we end the day with renewed purpose, we'll wake up in the morning with renewed purpose.   You may say, I was not a Christian in my youth, therefore, I did not have purpose.  That isn't true, we all have purpose.   But if we are now Christians, how do we find new purpose?   Well, you can turn with me to First Corinthians, Chapter fourteen, verse seven.  It asks us: How shall it be known what is piped or harped?   Now, I could continue to harp on you with these things, but let me just say this: If we were to remove the words from our music, what sound would we hear?   And what significance is there if the music dominates the words?   Often there is more focus on the music than the words.   And how often we can't even hear the words?  Verse thirty-three: God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.   Do we feel peace because we are ridding ourselves of stress, whether through music or through meditation?   Or having a hobby instead of a hubby, or instead of being a hubby?   Married couples, you need to turn together towards God, not towards externals, to deal with stress."                                                                               

   Pastor Paul takes a couple more gulps of water before giving the congregation something else to swallow, "We cannot come to God with a self-generated feeling of wholeness.   We cannot feel peace because we merely feel good about ourselves.   Do we feel good because the Red Wings are winning or because our church defeated another church in a softball game?   Or is it as simple as hitting five green lights in a row on  our way to work?   You adults, think back …what was it in High School?   A varsity jacket, a class ring, or being elected for the Homecoming Court?  Then was it the quick acceptance at work, getting your own locker, your own cubical, or getting the keys to the executive bathroom?   And as a Christian, what is it?   Back to verse twelve …are you zealous of spiritual gifts?   And if so, do you excel to the edifying of the church, or are you merely edifying yourself?   Do you relieve yourself any better by using the executive bathroom?"                        

"We are not to put distance between ourselves by granting our own elite-ness, portraying a holier than thou attitude.   And we are not to assume we are the distributor of gifts. If God would have us to be an auto mechanic, then we are to be an auto mechanic.  We are not to compel the auto mechanic to be a doctor and a doctor to be an auto mechanic.   What we should all feel compelled to do, is to bring the message of salvation to the lost.   Once they receive the message, God will prepare them further to receive what God will have  them receive.   We are to edify one another, not confuse each other's way.   Doubt, discouragement, comparison, exclusiveness, distractions ---how many more can we name that we fall victim to?  Or are we further deceived, and use them within our own private arsenal, unknowingly taking our own unwilling victims, all too willing to attain the same high standards, their own exclusiveness."                                                                                                                                            

Merrie Isaac's brother is a diabetic, and he doesn't take very good care of himself. And now he is scheduled for surgery ...to remove his foot.

   Richard Castor is angry, but he isn't angry at God …because he doesn't really believe  in God.  But you can tell he wants to be angry at someone. He wants to blame someone.                                                          

   He feels life is unfair.  But he isn't about to blame himself.  Maybe he can believe in God for a short time …just long enough to blame Him.  Of course, he knows that's absurd!   So his bitterness is directed at his sister, Merrie.  "So why would your loving God allow this to happen to me?"                                                                                                                          
   
   He is scheduled to have his foot removed tomorrow.  Merrie wants to tell him it is his own fault for having neglected himself, but what she really wants to focus on is not his neglect of himself, but of his relationship towards God.                                                             

   Merrie knows that at the root of it all, he isn't angry.  He is really sad and hurt.   But he is also stubborn …real stubborn.  And that turns   his hurt into anger.  He is like a dog, hit by a car.  That's how this news about his foot has hit him.  And like some injured animal, he won't let anyone get close enough to help the hurt.                                                           

   Merrie feels it's best that she not be the one to talk to him.  It seems like one of the biggest contradictions in this life ---that you hurt most those whom you love the most.        

   But even worse, is to turn against the One who loves you the very most ---our loving God.                                                                  
   
   That brings back the initial question ...the question he had asked her just the other day.   Why would a loving God allow this to happen?                 

Moriah and Shannon had agreed to join Merrie. They await Richard to return to the hospital room after some tests.

 It is a double room.  A young gentleman is in the next bed, his eyes shut.  An elderly lady, assumedly  his mom, is in a chair beside his bed, holding his hand …her eyes, also shut. The elderly lady could be presumed to be praying, or presumed to have been praying, her present status now interrupted by loud abrupt snores.     

It does seem like a good idea, to pray, minus the snoring.   Merrie, Moriah, and Shannon circle around Richard's empty bed to quietly pray for him …to pray for what they will say to him.

Merrie holds hands with Shannon and Moriah.  Eyes shut, she quietly begins to pray. But no sooner does she begin, the young man blurts out, "Don't waste your time!  I don't believe in God!"  

It startles Merrie and she stops praying.  They look over at the young man in the adjacent bed. You can tell by the embarrassed look on both of their faces. The elderly lady verifies it, "I'm sorry, my son doesn't believe  in God.  No disrespect, I'm sure he just thought it was me praying."  She turns to her son, "Now apologize to them, Clarence."                                                                              

Clarence is embarrassed, but more prideful than repentant, "I don't need to apologize to them. This is a hospital and I can do a I want."

Clarence's mom gets up from her chair to extend a hand to Merrie, "By the way, my name's Gertie."

 Merrie introduces herself, Shannon, and Moriah before Gertie continues, "These youngsters don't realize what spiritual battles rage on around us. You two are probably too young to have remembered that great debate that took place ten years ago, but they've aired it several times over the years …in fact, just recently.  When was it?  Last weekend …that's when  I saw it.  Did you happen to see it?  Cindy Bauer against that Leonard Ennul Awol."

Merrie politely corrects the pronunciation, "Leonard, ---Ilam Ewald."

Gertie makes clear her interest, "That Cindy Bauer is great.  I just love to hear her talk!"

 

Shannon wants to proudly say, "That's my Mom!"; but she can't quite bring herself to.  She had joined the community in watching the airing of the debate and how the show was handled.   Afterwards, the interviews they did with select people, showed how distorted it had all become.  And Gertie sounds just like one of these people.

Gertie expresses her unquestioned beliefs, "A society that doesn't believe, has no purpose.  We must unite in the spirit of the Essence."

Gertie's words were almost precisely the words of one lady they had interviewed on television, after the airing of the debate.  Shannon recalls Fernye's comments about the lady's comments, "That's blasphemy against the Holy Spirit!"

Shannon had felt hurt by the way the television program had distorted the truth.   But now, that hurt is magnified.

Gertie summarizes, "It's the Essence that we all share.  The common spirit.  That's the true beauty that came out of the debate."

Richard Castor returns to the room at this time.  At about the same time, a young man joins Gertie and her son.  Gertie politely acknowledges, "This is my oldest son, Rodney."

Richard greets his own sister and politely nods as Shannon and Moriah are introduced. But his interest is shown elsewhere, "I'm expecting my daughter, Kalie.  She said she'd be up here today. Are the roads slippery?"    

Merrie doesn't want to worry her brother.  She knows how concerned he gets over his daughter.   But she also believes in being honest, "The roads are rather slippery in spots.  I couldn't help from skidding a couple times.  But if you drive slow, the roads are manageable."

It is obvious that Richard and Rodney had met before.  Some men seem to create an instant bond of respect for each other.  Or perhaps it is more accurately, a common disrespect for women.

Richard only held exception for his daughter.   His sister, he treated  like every other woman, "My sister isn't an experienced driver.  How did you find the roads, Rodney?"    

Rodney smiles, "I just looked out the windshield and there they were."

But before he could say more, and the men could draw alliance, Gertie jumps to Merrie's defense, "Don't ask Rodney.  When it comes to speeding, none is a greater offender. Offender of the fender.  I wouldn't be surprised if my son didn't run everyone off the road."    

This definitely wasn't beginning like the encouraging visit they had prayed for.  And Merrie cringes at Gertie's comments.

Richard would be worried enough about his daughter.  Now he'd be thinking about nothing else.   As concerned as he is, thinking about his daughter, Richard is able to vent some frustration.  To everyone's surprise, Richard poises his question to Moriah, "Being a black girl, do you think life is fair?"

 Moriah is all too familiar with hearing ignorant statements.  She'd already heard the disrespectful comment he made to his sister.  And disrespect and ignorance go hand-in-hand, along with biases, prejudices, sometimes disdain.  Richard's question actually has two parts to it ---the black person part, and the part about life in general.    

Moriah is prepared to answer both, but she isn't going to make it that easy for him, "What do you mean by that?"   

Richard would not accept the fact that his question may be a little out-of-line, "You know what I mean.  For years, your people have had to fight to even be thought of as human beings. You look to be well-educated enough.  Whether you get it from your daddy and your mommy, or through the history books, you must have been told of some of the horrible abuses of slavery.  And with every right that you've fought for and think you've gained, your people have still not escaped the bondage.  You continue to do it to yourself, your own race. Your race has the highest percent of child abuse, wife beatings, rape, murder -----."

Merrie is totally embarrassed.  She knows her brother is making this up, or got it from some of his ignorant friends.  Richard's main appetite  for reading is comic books.  Moriah wonders whether Richard is a white supremist.  Or is he just a bitter bigot, unable to accept that Obama is President?   Merrie had briefed her on some of the details about her brother, but not this extensively. He certainly is bitter.  And you can see why.  Tomorrow he's scheduled for surgery to cut off his foot, then they'll have to surgically remove the other one from his mouth.  The thought crosses her mind, but she isn't going to say it …better to maintain focus on why she's really here.  Her brother is going to have his foot removed, but more importantly, what needs to be removed is the wall that stands between God and him.      

That's why he's bitter.  That is why he doesn't think life is fair.  And that's why he's challenging, though he hasn't mentioned it yet today, why a loving God would allow this to happen.   

Moriah addresses his reference to her being black, "So, you think that because I'm a black girl, I have reason to think life hasn't been fair?  Let me ask you this?  Do you believe in God?"          

Richard always anticipates this will soon become part of the conversation with Merrie, or any of her friends, "If I ever considered whether there might be a God, I'm farthest from that belief right now.  If there is a loving God, I can't believe this would be happening to me.  I don't know anyone that prays more than my sister, and I don't know anyone my sister prays for more than me, so why would her loving God ignore all her fervent requests?"                                                                                    

Moriah looks deep into Richard's eyes, "So, basically you're asking why a loving God would let bad things happen.  Would you say you're more protective of your daughter than you are, let's say, your sister?"   

           

 Richard hesitates to answer.  He believes his daughter can do no wrong in his eyes, yet, he is constantly criticizing his sister.  

Moriah lets the thought quickly build by placing the next thought, "I'd gather to say from this short visit, that you are way more protective of Kalie, your precious child, than you are of anyone else. Well, Merrie and I are God's precious children.  And you ask why would God allow bad things to happen?   Yes, why would God allow you to criticize your sister, His child, about her driving or any other thing you choose to complain about?"  

Moriah takes a deep breath, "And you are extremely rude towards her friends …making unkind insinuations in reference to me, also a child   of God. Why would a loving God allow you to talk that way to me?  And you also ask how I can consider life fair?  With all the things that  were done to my people, the worst is ---after having endured and overcome so much inequality ---having to stand before the likes of people like you who still feel obliged to remind me that I haven't quite achieved equal status in your eyes.  So, enlighten me, please!  What is a person like me, a black girl, supposed to think of all the horrible past injustices …including that entire legacy of slavery?  Who's responsible for treating my people that way?  And who's responsible for continuing all this sophisticated ignorance?  Could it be your people?  As I see it, if God had punished your forefathers, then there wouldn't have been anyone to have conceived you.  So, I stand here today, with the answer to why God allows bad things to happen.  I stand here in love, still keeping my commitment to pray for you ...not asking my God to eliminate you and the trouble you bring, but to forgive you and your forefathers."

The room falls silent.  Rodney and Clarence had been listening also. Moriah feels she has to add one more thing, "If you believe in God, then you believe in Heaven and eternity.  And you losing your foot is less of a deal in view of eternity, than me stubbing my toe in this life. You'll get over it!  There is no pain and suffering in eternity with God.  And I'm sure the pain and suffering from losing your foot will be way less than the pain and suffering you've incurred upon others with that attitude of yours."

Moriah's eyes still remain locked on Richard's eyes, "No pain and no suffering for eternity in Heaven sounds great ---for me, my forefathers,    my people.  How are we considered to be God's children or not God's children?  We are adopted.   God wants to adopt us all.  But the way it is with adoption is …you can't be adopted if you refuse to be adopted."    

Merrie invites Shannon to speak, "Shannon was adopted by her Dad. How did that process come about, Shannon?"   

Shannon does not know what to say to all these other questions, but the adoption process was a simple one, "First of all, Dad wanted to adopt me. Then I had to talk to a caseworker to let her know, and convince her that I wanted to be adopted.  She made it clear that no one was going to force me.  It was only going to happen if I wanted it to happen."    

           

Clarence and Rodney don't consider it intrusive to enter into the conversation.  Clarence has the thicker walls built up.   He was still living at home when his mom had fully embraced this Essence concept.  He'd heard it all before and considers it too cliché, "There are so many religions and so many beliefs in God ...how can anybody be so bold, to insist that their God is the only true God?  Isn't that rather arrogant?"

Merrie hadn't wanted to chance making the wall between her brother and her any thicker.  That's not what is meant by saying she and her brother are thick.  She knows it's not her place to speak.   She can feel the Holy Spirit directing Moriah …not her.  But she can't contain herself.  She answers Clarence, "I'm not accusing you, Clarence.  I have to admit,  it happened to me many times in my youth.  But I have to ask …have you ever been caught in a lie?"

Rodney laughs, "Be careful now, Clarence.  It's a trick.  If you say no, you'll be lying."

Clarence is the one who's confined to the bed ---he's not finding as much humor as his brother, "Of course, you know I've told many lies before.   So what!"    

Merrie eases up, "No big deal, we've all been there.  I just wanted us all to think back ---to recall what it felt like.  Why did we get caught?"

Clarence does not like to be engaged in these types of conversation, "Because we weren't telling the truth.  Either our parents were smart or  we were dumb.  I don't know which ...either one will do.  I don't really care!"

Gertie jumps in, "Well then, you shouldn't have butted into their conversation.  You asked the question, now knock off the rudeness and let her answer the question you asked."                                                                                                              

Merrie smiles at Gertie, "Sometimes we try to tell small lies or half truths, however you choose to look at it, but the absolute truth always stands the test.  Any lie has the potential to, somehow, somewhere, and sometime or another to reveal itself.   If you really wanted to tell a lie, and get away with it, the best chance you'd have of deceiving others  would be if you wrote down the lie and refused each time to answer to it, unless referring back to the written statement itself. But actually,   that's the best way to tell the truth also ---because we often forget the truth.  The difference I see between the two is that the lie is usually made up to look as good as possible, especially if you have ample time to construct it.  On the other hand, the truth is not confined to standards of either good or bad ---it's simply the truth.  My point is, if I were trying to compete with all the other religions, claiming to be the one and only true one ---I wouldn't be telling a story that made the followers of my religion look so bad."

Merrie hadn't said what her religion was, but the way she was focused, you could tell much was yet to be said, "If I were going to be arrogant, as you say, I would pick a religion that centers upon …Metamora, Michigan.  And the true believers would be gathered together in my community.  I'd not be concerned whether my religion outlived me because it would only benefit me during my lifetime.  Beyond that, it would be of no use to me.  So I could claim as much exclusiveness as I could and use it to deceive and exploit others to fulfill my needs."

Richard asks, "Is that what you're all about?  Exploiting or being exploited?  I wouldn't trust that walled community.  It might be an investment scam."

Merrie is upset that her brother had implied that the walled community may be an investment scam.  The thought that crosses her mind is for him to hop on over to check it out for himself …as soon as he got out of the hospital.  But she refrains from speaking the words she knows are not from God.  It is a real spiritual battle any time she talks with her brother. And she wants to be certain not to drop her armor.

Merrie uses Richard's insinuation to further her point, "If it's a scam, and I, the author of it, I would want to further my investment.  And if religion is the focus of furthering my economic exploitations, I would be deeply concerned with the growth of my religion.  My focus would be to gather as many believers as I can.  I would promote only that which is popular.  I would probably consider eliminating the righteousness of God, and focus only on God's loving character. I could eliminate Heaven and Hell. Or maybe I could keep Heaven, maybe just group it together and  call it an afterlife.  But the concept of Hell would have to go.  It sort of sounds like a political campaign, doesn't it?  Eliminating the unpopular issues and focusing only on what will grant us re-election.  But, of course, we'd keep the notion of an elect.  Always good to be able to strive to achieve high ideals or an elite position by furthering the cause by our own great sacrifices or great works. Or I'd have great claims, self-ordained, bringing glory not only to my religion, but also establishing my own glory. But as we are truly a world economy now, our political campaign would bring an international scope ---and our spiritual growth could not afford to lag behind …as it would pose a threat to our international scope, economically and politically. To offend would only cause tension and division. So we'd strive for unity.  And I'm sorry, Gertie, but that's what this Essence movement is doing, as it sweeps our nation.   It's trying to gather together all the religions, to allow each to lay claim to part of the truth, each religion being a piece of a large picture ---called the Essence."

Merrie knows she has just offended the beliefs that Gertie holds true  to, but she can't help it.   They aren't true!                                                                                         

Merrie can't help keeping Shannon out of the picture, "I'm sorry, Gertie, but this Cindy Bauer who you think is so great ---that you say, you just love ---is Shannon's Mom.   And she did not have any agreement with this Essence development. She would stand as bold as I, insisting  that our faith, hers and mine, Moriah's and Shannon's, has the One and only true God.  Now, I'm not arrogantly stating that my religion is the only true religion.  It's not my religion.  It's the religion of the forefathers of the Jewish people.  Now, why in the world, would I want to choose their history as the foundation of my faith?   It's not a pretty picture …it's still a mess over there.  And if you've studied the various faiths, like I have, you'd see that in the writings of their own forefathers can be found the foretelling of that which many of them still deny.   Now, why would I look to a people who hold to writings that prove to be their own contradiction?  Why would I be drawn towards such humiliation?"

Richard sighs sarcastically, "You've got me on that one.  I've always wondered why."

Merrie looks into her brother's eyes, "I'm drawn to such humiliation because it's the truth.  It's the only thing that makes sense.  As a sheep to the slaughter, in humiliation, Jesus suffered and died. All in the Name of love."                                                                                                                          

Merrie cries.  She had made a point to never cry in front of her brother. She always felt a Christian should be strong in their convictions.  But this time it somehow seems okay to cry.  More importantly, it seems right.  Her weakness is her strength.   

Richard is still focused on tomorrow's event, the surgery to remove his foot, "Well, I feel like I'm going to suffer my share of humility.  But I certainly don't feel any love from a God that you say loves me."   

Merrie is still wiping her tears.  Richard proceeds to reason this one out for himself, "But I guess it's because of the choices I've made in life.  I didn't take care of myself and now I'm suffering the consequences.  You make it sound like we're sitting down in a restaurant, ready to order, and I order up more evil than good, so I'm served up a huge platter of it.  But you act like I can ask to see the menu again if I don't like what I ordered."  

Merrie wants to tell him that he has a deadly case of food poisoning and Jesus is the only antidote.  But her brother doesn't respond well to analogies and she is still too choked up to say anything anyway.  She nods as Gertie and Rodney leave, Gertie extending the pleasantries of how much of a pleasure it was to meet them.   

Richard's agitation seems to have reached its peak, but Moriah has another approach in mind, "When your children were growing up, you wanted the best for them, right?"   On the way to the hospital, Merrie had told Moriah how fond Richard was of his daughter, Kalie.                                    

Richard seems to soften a bit, "I gave them knowledge, so they could function adequately.  And I taught them right from wrong.  But mostly,   I taught them that I love them."    

Moriah smiles, "That's truly wonderful ---and so simple to do.  It's amazing how many people fail to do that.   You liked being a daddy, didn't you?  You loved your children and wanted the best for them." 

Moriah knew he was still wondering where Kalie was ---why she hadn't arrived yet.  "And what about your daughter.  Dads don't have an easy time letting go. Did your daughter ever marry?" 

Richard looks straight into Moriah's eyes for the first time.  He sees her soft dark eyes and acknowledges for the first time that this young girl may, after all, have some understanding, "Yes, she did get married.  I always feared that she'd marry someone who wouldn't treat her right."   

Moriah adds, "No one could love her like you do."   

Richard firmly states, "And I was right too! But she didn't listen ---and now she's divorced. Followed in my footsteps on that one too."   

Moriah shows great concern in her voice, "Why didn't she listen?"   

Richard talks to Moriah on an equal level, "You know how it is ...the world is a complex place.  Kids venture out because they feel times have changed ---they feel they know better than their parents."   

Moriah's loving voice sums it up, "The world isn't so complex that we can't even see who really loves us.  That should be so simple to see."   

Richard agrees, "It should be!"   

Moriah waits for his eyes to meet hers, "Then why can't you see that God loves you?"      

Moriah sees that Richard has softened a bit ...actually,    a lot from when they first arrived.   But she wouldn't be able to see what effect their concluding comments would have because at that moment  Kalie enters the room.  And to add to the concern, she is shaking, visibly chilled.  

Richard asks, "Are you okay, Kalie?"  

Kalie sits on the end of his bed and takes the extra blanket, draping it over her shoulders, "I'll be okay.  It's freezing out there!  But I'll warm up in a couple minutes."              

Richard is still confused, "Did you have trouble?"  

Kalie admits, "I went in the ditch a mile and a half down the road. Everyone was going slow, except this one guy.  He went into a skid, trying to pass me.  I tried to avoid getting hit and ended up in the ditch."   

Richard expresses agitation, "And the guy didn't have the courtesy to stop and help you!  If I knew who did that, they'd have to adjust their plans for me tomorrow.  They'd have to surgically remove my foot from him."                                                                                                                 

Kalie smiles, "I already had words with him."   

Richard looks confused, "I thought you said he didn't stop, he kept on going?"   

Kalie continues to smile, "He did ...but it so happens that the same guy was leaving this hospital when I came in."                                                              

Richard looks into his daughter's soft eyes, "What did you say to him?"                                                                                                                           

Kalie almost laughs, "Well, what do you think I said to him?  I gave him a pamphlet about the Roman road and told him to drive safe.  The way he drives, he may not live long, so I wanted him to know how much God loves him."                                                                                                               

Richard is prepared to listen, "What is the Roman road?"    

Kalie had recently just found out herself, "Here, I believe I have an extra pamphlet with me. Let me show you."    

                                                                               

 

Once again, the pastor''s sermon drives home some unique parallels.

"It's like driving on icy roads.  You see the icy conditions, but you don't slow down.  When you see half a dozen vehicles in the ditch, maybe you slow down a bit. Then you come to a terrible accident.  You have to slow down because of the gawkers.  But then the traffic begins to pick up. You increase your speed also.  Past reminders are left behind. Suddenly, a different sort of reminder comes into view …it's a police car.  But when the police car is out of view, your speed picks up again.  Sin is like an icy road.  You can ignore it until you face the ditch consequences. Or maybe an Officer of the Lord, reminds you and holds you accountable.  But some of you don't like authority.  You continue to choose to ignore it.  But, I ask you, does ignoring it change the truth?  The point I'm trying to drive home here is, maybe you are like the young man, Rodney, who I helped out of the ditch.  Maybe you've heard it too much and are sick of people like me talking about it.  But I'd stop going on and on, exhausting you with examples, if you would just slow down and look at the simple truth."


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